Shiny Legs!

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By now, you have seen them everywhere. Unless of course you live in some backwards place that time forgot (aka the midwest….I kid, I kid). I’m talkin’ about shiny leggings! Also known as wet leggings.

Okay, quick gleecap for you midwesterners: Last year, leggings got HUGE. They were already pretty big, then they got huge. The fashion world decided this wasn’t quite enough, so they conspired and got celebrities (like Rihanna) to start wearing the shiny version of these leggings. Of course, the public didn’t take long to follow suit. Now the big new trend is to wear super tight, shiny leggings.

Look at that, two paragraphs and I bet you still can’t tell whether I’m pro or anti-shiny leggings. That is because I am a journalistic professional over here. Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.

Okay but in reality I think they’re okay. A little flashy for a trip to the grocery store, if you ask me, but not offensive. I could see myself sporting some on a night on the town, I suppose. Especially if the town in question happens to be good old Las Vegas.

Maybe this isn’t really a trend like any other trend. Maybe we’re actually finally moving into the future? You know, where everyone dresses all shiny. Although the black leggings still seem to hold the most market share, silver ones are getting pretty darn popular themselves. Maybe this is just the first step towards all of us dressing like all the old movies about the future warned us about? If so, I can get on board with that. I can totally pull of the Jetsons look. Bring it on. Fashion forward. See you on Jupiter. I’ll be the one in the shiniest silver leggings. Wear sunglasses.

I Just Bought a $120 Pair of Jeans

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But you must understand, they retail for like $200. I found these particular Rock & Republic jeans on eBay. They were listed for $160 with the option to “Make an offer.” I bit. I made an offer for $100.

The response from the seller was very interesting. He told me could go as low as $120, shipping included, but I’d need to agree to some special terms. Basically, what he did was decline my offer and then send me a counter-offer of just $1. The catch, of course, is shipping would be $119. Why? Because I guess eBay charges sellers a percentage of the final sale fee, independent of the shipping charge. So, since I only technically paid $1 for the item itself, his fees were probably minimal. And then he put the jeans in a solid gold box and had them shipped via RIGHTNOW mail.

I’m guessing this practice is probably frowned upon over at the old e-to-the-bay. It seemed perfectly natural to the seller, who I am assuming has probably implemented this trick before. He also had a ton of feedback, all 100% positive.

So, now I sit, pantsless…waiting patiently for my awesome jeans. Of course I have no idea if they will fit as perfectly as they do in my imagination. I’m pretty sure the pair of R&R’s I owned a while back were the same size. At least I hope so. I also hope I haven’t gotten fat and am just too deep in denial to recognize it. If the pants don’t fit, I may be forced to come to terms. Or just blame the seller for sending me faulty denim. Yeah, that’s probably a better idea. Good call.

Uggs and Skirts

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I know…what a hot-button topic! I have heard many-a-girl go on some serious rants about how they can’t stand when other girls wear ugg boots with mini-skirts. ESPECIALLY denim mini-skirts. Let us explore this further…

Why is it that some girls are so passionate about this particular fashion anomaly? Girls have been sacrificing practicality in the name of fashion for quite some time. All of a sudden now a certain handful of them have decided that wearing warm and cozy ugg boots with a sexy summer mini skirt is unacceptable?

Now, you probably think I must be the type to sport this controversial combination of clothing. Not really. I mean, I reserve the right to do so. Can’t say I ever have, though. I just find it fascinating that some girls get so upset about it. I mean, honestly…what’s the harm in a little contradictory fashion? Could they be….(drumroll)…

…Jealous!?!

Don’t you dare mention that to them. Heaven forbid they don’t have the legs to pull it off or the cash to afford the boots! Because if either are the case, you are in for a verbal beatdown, and nowhere therein will there ever be anything remotely reminiscent of a confession of jealousy.

And something you angry girls might want to consider: maybe those girls just have super ugly feet and cankles? Have a heart, please.

Sincerely,

Me.

Gas Station Sunglasses

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Who doesn’t love them? See, girls have it a lot better than guys when it comes to sunglasses. If a guy is wearing a pair of cheap sunglasses (such as the ones you will find in a gas station), he looks like a tool. Maybe you can get away with it if you’re like a dad on vacation, but that is a specialized case because you have already basically abandoned style altogether. However, girls can pull off the cute and playful thing. Don’t get me wrong, I do adore a nice pair of designer sunglasses, I’m just saying that we as a gender reserve the option!

Come to think of it, it’s like that for a lot of fashion options available to us girls. For instance, we can find a cute top at a discount store or even a thrift store, and if it’s cute, well, then it’s cute. However we can be much more critical judges of styles for guys. Generally we expect to see some familiar designer labels on a guys clothing for us to accept him as well-dressed. Unless of course you’re some kind of dirty hipster, then pretty much everything I’ve said so far here is probably not making any sense to you whatsoever.

Back to sunglasses…here is something to ponder: Why is it that in every other instance of clothing & accessory gender contrasts, the male versions of things are always bigger…EXCEPT for sunglasses? Think about it. Obvious things like shoes and socks, okay, they have to be bigger because guys are bigger. But what about accessories like rings or wrist watches? The ones for men are always bigger. However, when it comes to sunglasses, the ones for women are generally vastly bigger. Fly-like, even.

Actually now that I think about it, the same could be said for belt buckles. Or maybe hats. Well, what do you know? I’ve wasted your time, yet again.